2002-2003 - Instead of spreading love we're spreading animosity

As the chart single suffered a near-catastrophic collapse – sales plunged by 32% between 2002 and 2003 – ITV inflicted upon the nation the twin horrors of Pop Idol and Popstars – the Rivals. Naturally I watched neither but it was impossible to ignore them. TV promos, poster campaigns, tabloid headlines, … When you commute to work across London there was simply no escape.

At the start of 2002, posh boy Will Young was up against spiky-haired teenager Gareth Gates for the chance to win Pop Idol. According to Wikipedia, Will’s supporters included Noel Gallagher, while Gareth could count on Francis Rossi. Really?! What about me? Well, given that I had walked right past both protagonists on my way into Broadcasting House without recognising them, I could hardly claim sufficient knowledge to pledge allegiance to either. History records that Will emerged victorious in a massive public vote. His version of an old Westlife track ‘Evergreen’, doubled with ‘Anything is Possible’, promptly sold a million in a week. Presumably nobody else bought anything.

The runner-up Gareth didn’t exactly fade from the public eye. He followed Young’s opener with another sure-fire winner ‘Unchained Melody’ and the two acts ended up spending fourteen weeks at number one between them, including an EP duet in the autumn. By this time, even I was in a position to offer an informed opinion. Will, like me, is a graduate of Exeter University, so on that basis alone, he had the edge. Musically, both had rather tame, almost feminine voices a la Gately, but this seemed to represent the changing taste of the record-buying public. A taste, it’s fair to say, I didn’t share. It’s not that all the songs were bad, just mind-numbingly vanilla. Oh, for a double-scoop of banana and lemon sorbet! To his credit, however, Will Young’s 2003 effort ‘Leave Right Now’ was at the very least mint choc chip. The brilliantly-choreographed, if slightly disturbing, single-shot video was particularly memorable.

Even the losers got in on the act. Third-placer Darius Danesh also went to number one with the pleasant ’Colour Blind’ while the second ‘Pop Stars’ formation, Liberty X, hit the top briefly with ‘A Little Bit More’. At least this had something more seductive, and is one of the few so-called ‘reality TV’ songs which remains listenable.

The 2002 Christmas number one was ‘Sound of the Underground’ by the next Cowell/ITV victorious combo Girls Aloud. Not a typical bland ballad but I still wish it had never been allowed overground. It also set the Spice Girls wannabes on the road to massive, but unfathomable success throughout the decade.

They were deposed by a rarity: a song not only performed by a TV talent show winner but also written by him! The Beeb, recognising the need to get involved with the genre, had launched their Fame Academy series. The eventual winner was young Scot David Sneddon. I recall one Thursday afternoon hearing umpteen repetitions of his piano-led ‘Stop Living the Lie’ during the course of a Personal Effectiveness training course deep in the bowels of Television Centre. It sounded as if Sneddon was rehearsing assiduously for a TOTP performance. The song was pleasant enough, but on constant hearing it was annoyingly intrusive. As for the course, my personal category was identified as ‘CI’: methodical, perfectionist, team player and slow decision-maker. I didn’t need a test to tell me that. As for Mr Sneddon, he quickly stopped living the life. Having defeated more than 30,000 fame-hungry hopefuls, he decided that fame wasn’t for him and quit performing in favour of being a professional songwriter. Good luck to him. 

I occasionally had to pop into Television Centre for other reasons. When I did, I tended to venture to, I think, the second floor and pop into the studio viewing galleries. You never knew what rehearsal or recording might be in progress. A Tuesday or Wednesday afternoon diversion was sometimes rewarded with a few minutes watching TOTP. Often there was nothing happening at all but I do remember one week witnessing a performance by the engaging Jamelia of her new hit ‘Superstar’; it may well have been this one. I was quite impressed by her personality on the studio floor, too, and not just her legs.

Talking of legs, I’d be lying if I denied noticing the shapely limbs of Beyonce. Let’s be honest, viewers of the video for ‘Crazy in Love’ were expected to notice. Blimey! Where did she come from? Well, Destiny’s Child. Obviously. But I hadn’t paid much attention to them. Beyonce wasn’t even the first of that R’n’B trio to have a UK Number one. That prize had been claimed by Kelly Rowland (‘Dilemma’). 

In the meantime, a temporary gap in the British girl group market was amply filled by The Sugababes. With a clear nod to The Spice Girls (sugar…spice…), the name was truly dreadful, but in my humble opinion, their music was far from it. They had a so-so start but, by 2002, Heidi Range had joined Keisha Buchanan and Mutya Buena and their more varied approach to pop was paying dividends. It wasn’t that I really loved any of their singles but, for consistent high quality, they were hard to beat. Great ballads like ‘Stronger’ and ‘Too Into You’ were mixed with chart-topping fare like ‘Hole in the Head’ and ‘Round Round’. Nevertheless, my fave was, by the narrowest of margins, ‘Freak Like Me’. Built around that artfully atmospheric synth lick from ‘Are Friends Electric?’ it’s a sultry sexy song that grabs you by any part of the body you can imagine, including the ears. Unlike most of their songs, the band members weren’t amongst the many writing credits but it knocked most of the other 2002 number ones into freaking cocked hats.

For all their excellence on CD, I have it on good authority, supported by the evidence of any number of YouTube recordings, that the Sugababes were terrible live. Keisha always looks so bored. Nevertheless, more than a decade later, ignoring the hilarious frequency of line-up changes (the latest one is all-male – I jest!), they remain one of the most successful girl groups in UK history.

There was a good deal more charisma, sex appeal and eye-popping hip action going on in one second of any performance by Shakira than anything the ‘Babes or even Beyonce could manage. The Colombian queen of Latin rhythm blew me away on ‘Whenever Wherever’. The inclusion of Andean pipes and charanga gave the record a rare exoticism, Shakira’s voice and movement provided the pure eroticism. Deprived of a number one by Will Young’s debut, it took her from being a mere superstar of the Spanish-speaking world to a global icon. Intelligent, creative, philanthropic and apparently a jolly nice woman as well, Shakira must be one of the few women who could marry a Barcelona and Spain footballer (Gerard Pique) and be more famous than he is. I don’t hear much of her new music these days but, as arguably the best record of 2002, ‘Whenever Wherever’ must be one of the most joyfully infectious three-and-a-bit minutes of dance-pop ever made.

Ex-Spice Girl Emma had dropped the Bunton as her material also embraced her inner Latina. Clearly keen to shed her cute and fluffy ‘Baby’ image, all her videos seemed hell-bent on showing as much thigh and cleavage as possible but the music was unflinchingly carefree pop with a Sixties vibe. Before she dared to cover ‘Down Town’ Emma enjoyed herself with a Bunton bossanova in ‘Maybe’. I quite enjoyed it, too, probably the last of the listenable post-Spice solo singles from any of the quintet.

However, if it’s genuine Latin beat you wanted, Las Ketchup were the real deal. From Andalusia, the family group’s ‘Asereje’ was simultaneously annoying and adorable. I do find it embarrassing that it had to be re-branded ‘The Ketchup Song’ for the UK market. There were no references in the lyrics to ketchup or indeed any other condiment, so why the crass change? When I hear it, I am transported back to the very un-Latin environment of Thailand during the water-throwing carnival of Chiang Mai’s Songkran the following April. I have a clear recollection of its toe-tapping tune emanating from either a ‘pick-up’ or café just before I was drenched by a bunch of bucket-wielding Aussies who felt I was fair game. As it happened, everyone was fair game during the three-day New Year festival. At least it was only water, and not ketchup…

Hip-hop duo Outkast were very much 'in'. I was never an aficionado then, in October 2003, along came ‘Hey Ya!’ which defied any logic when it came to explaining why I liked it, or indeed any attempts at categorisation. Even now I feel compelled by some primeval urge to join in with the ‘clap-clap’ and ‘Hey Ya’ chorus. Can’t help it. Sorry! 

Also in the process of broadening their hip-hop horizons were The Black Eyed Peas. I’d certainly never heard of them until they released the lament for the apparent absence of good feeling and social justice, ‘Where is the Love?’ Although selling barely 600,000 copies in 2003, it was the year’s best-seller here and topped the charts for six weeks in September and October. Even I could pick out the heartfelt rap lyrics of will.i.am et al, and the sentiment struck a chord with many others, too. That it was a hip-hop-pop crossover was important; it wouldn’t have had the same impact globally had it been sung by will.r.young!

Where is the Love? An apt question to ask, given the final collapse of my relationship with Kim. The move from my flat to our larger house in Atridge Chase in February 2002 had merely postponed the inevitable. The first post-split show I went to on my own was a concert at the Palladium on Sunday 14^th December by one of my favourite bands Saint Etienne. I mentioned this in the 1993 section, but given my emotional state, this one-off gig ten years later has a special status in my musical life. Scheduled just before Christmas there was a real party atmosphere which I definitely craved at the time. The performance of all their hits culminated in 'Join Our Club' and the seasonal ‘I Was Born on Christmas Day’. Perfect.

Another track which stirred the by now dormant dance divo in me was ‘Move Your Feet’ by Danish duo Junior Senior. It wasn’t particularly clever. In fact, it was naively repetitively with a sequence of three distinct sections repeated throughout the three minutes. Yet it somehow came together. I saw them on various TV shows, always singing, if not playing, live, and they always succeeded in creating a vibe which made you smile as well as move your feet.

I’m not 100% certain but I think I saw them on the BBC’s Glastonbury coverage in 2003. That same weekend I was also introduced by two other bands hitherto beyond my ken. Although also from Scandinavia, Royksopp were a completely different kettle of herring, being distinctly electronic. Once you survive the onslaught of all those random electronic bursts at the start, ‘Eple’ (Norwegian for apple, apparently) settles into a wonderful groove of synths, drum machine and bass. Even in the rolling meadows of Somerset, it somehow works. On the back of ‘Eple' I’ve sought out other tracks, and it’s a shame that no others made the UK Top 20. They were just born twenty years too late. The Glasto coverage also introduced me to the London acoustic duo, Turin Brakes. I love their alt-folk harmonies on ‘Painkiller’ which reached number five. They shifted a fair few albums, sold out their local Brixton Academy, supported David Gray amongst others, but have never quite achieved headliner status.

One of the most successful bands of this period was Busted. Posh, tall Charlie, spiky James and annoyingly perma-gurning Matt were ever-present, their first eight singles all making the top three inside two years. I quickly tired of their well-practised knees-together leaps while thrashing guitars, but the songs were actually quite listenable. The likes of Good Charlotte and Blink-182 were too heavy for me, but the Essex boys knew how to write a tune which could shine from beneath the rock guitar.

‘What I Go to School For’ was an entertaining debut, ‘Sleeping with the Light On’ and ‘3am’ were nicely-crafted ballads but their trip back to the future for ‘Year 3000’ is my favourite. The lyrics were throwaway nonsense but I was amused by their tongue-in-cheek reference to their rivals in the lines:-

“He took me to the future in the flux thing
And I saw everything
Boy bands, and another one, and another one
……And another one”

The second album was more grown-up but I didn’t like the singles as much. Shows how mature I was! Charlie fancied himself as a hard rocker and split up the band at their peak. The 17 year-old who had been deprived by the record label of a place in the line-up had the last laugh. Tom Fletcher – for it was he - proceeded to lead Busted’s natural progeny McFly to even greater success in the next few years. At least there was a satisfying conclusion to the story of both bands when a decade later they joined forces to tour and record briefly as McBusted. 

American rock was entering a purple patch, too. Actually, REM’s Michael Stipe was in a blue patch. The band seemed to be on our screens quite a lot around that time, and the lead singer always seemed to sport across his eyes a band of blue as a kind of painted bandana. Why? Only he will know. But REM were back on form with songs like ‘Bad Day’ and I am prepared to forgive Stipe any of his weird idiosyncrasies.

REM were being challenged as top international rock combo by the Red Hot Chili Peppers. They weren’t new kids on the block either but I hadn’t really appreciated their music prior to the release of ‘Zephyr Song’ and ‘By the Way’. Canadians Nickelback were more old-school while The White Stripes, on the other hand, did offer something new. Amidst the media debate over whether Jack and Meg White were married or siblings (actually the former, and he took her surname), their brand of raw bluesy rock was earning rave reviews. Jack’s earthy voice had echoes of Jack Bruce or Robert Plant, while his guitar playing also boasted a dramatic simplicity, amply backed by Meg’s no-nonsense drums. It was all wrapped up in a consistent production of red, black and white. So far, so tedious. However, when I first heard the bass intro for ‘Seven Nation Army’, I recognised something better than most. The video of ever-morphing triangles genuinely made me feel physically sick (!) but it was a really exciting record to listen to. And, of course, the riff lives on in football grounds, with the cries of ‘Oh, Santi Cazorla’ and variations thereof.

Another duo who made an even bigger splash was TaTu. It wasn’t that they were the first Russians to reach number one in the UK. Instead, the teenage girls Yuliya Volkova and Len Katina aroused the typical middle-class, low-intelligence indignation of the Daily Mail and Sun by daring to kiss each other in the dramatic video of ‘All the Things She Said’. Of course, the whole lesbian schoolgirl controversy (both were decidedly heterosexual) was all a manipulative marketing ploy, which worked spectacularly well. Cutting through that crap, the record itself – produced by our own Trevor Horn - was brilliant, and topped charts around the world. Russia cashed in on TaTu’s European popularity by having them sing their Eurovision entry a few months later. Unusually for this era, I actually watched the BBC broadcast that year and, must confess that, while coming third, their live performance in Riga sounded terrible. They fared rather better than the UK entry. Jemini’s ‘Cry Baby’ which utterly deserved the dubious achievement of our first ever ‘nul points’ total. 

Britain did have some pleasant pop-rock singles, of course. Travis were back on form with ‘Reoffender’ and I even liked Mark Owen’s mature solo single, ‘Four-Minute Warning’. Top DJ/producer Paul Oakenfold joined the gang of Ibiza’s finest releasing their own albums, and his 2002 rap-assisted ‘Starry-Eyed Surprise’ possessed a super summer vibe. Admittedly, it owed much to a sample of the gentle guitar riff from Harry Nilsson’s ‘Ev’rybody’s Talkin’ that I always loved. So beloved of Terry Wogan, Katie Melua took Mike Batt’s saccharine ballad ‘Closest Thing to Crazy’ into the top ten at Christmas. I just adored her dark curls.

There were few love songs in the entire decade which could match the power of Dido’s ‘White Flag’. Her second album Life For Rent beat even No Angel by selling more than 2 million in one calendar year, and this was the stunning lead single. It followed the same successful formula of sweet, breathy vocals, perfect multi-layered production and memorable melody, and became Dido’s highest-placed single. It took the Black Eyed Peas to keep this classic off the top spot but ‘White Flag’ was certainly one of my top two records of 2003. 

Around this time, ‘Girl Power’ seemed to be replaced by ‘Girrrl Power,’ the ‘I’ being optional! Duplicated ‘r’s appeared for no logical reason, too. Christina Aguilera’s ‘Dirrty’ is a case in point. Avril Lavigne did at least adhere to the English language conventions in her excellent debut, ‘Complicated’. However, she lost my respect when her single ‘Sk8er Boi’ came out. Text spelling was now in the mainstream and the world would never be the same again. Pink was the epitome of the new brand of ballsy women with attitude but I had yet to hear any music by her which appealed.

This was a relatively fallow period for Britney Spears but her ‘ex’ and fellow Mickey Mouse Club alumnus, Justin Timberlake happily filled the gap. His music wasn’t always my brew but if they had an X Factor competition in 2003, JT would win. With a further apprenticeship in N-SYNC behind him he had it all: good looks, a decent voice, a modicum of acting talent and dance moves that would give Wacko Jacko a run for his money. For all his upbeat singles like ‘Rock Your Body’, it’s the sad R’n’B slowie ‘Cry Me A River’ – based on his Britney break-up - which made the biggest impression on me then, and still has the ability to haunt.

The whole R’n’B genre was spreading its tentacles far and wide, even clasping Eminem to its burgeoning bosom. In December 2002, he topped the chart with another high-quality single, ‘Lose Yourself’. Taken from the soundtrack to his Eight Mile movie, in which Em had the tough task of portraying a young rapper trying to make his way in a tough world, it was a typically emotional monologue topped and tailed by tinkly piano. His more humorous ‘WIthout Me’ was the bigger hit here, but ‘Lose Yourself’ is for me up there with the best. Who can argue with the philosophical opening lines?

“Look, if you had one shot, one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted
One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?

Yo”

Yo, indeed. 

Marshall Bruce Mathers III was a polar opposite to that of Curtis James Jackson III. They had quite a bit in common: apart from both being ‘Third’s, they were Americans, successful rappers with backing posses. Yet they were so different in looks. Eminem’s skinny white boy was a million miles from 50 Cent’s mean, moody, muscular image. ‘Fiddy Cent’ wore his drug-dealing past and bullet scars like badges of pride. To me he just looked a right dumb plank of wood, albeit with biceps bigger than my chest. He did alright for himself, but proved incapable of holding on to his huge fortune. Back to half a dollar then….

While 50 Cent’s over-serious, precious lady’s man shtick made me laugh, another star was making a career out of a white comic character who did his utmost not just to imitate his black role models but to be black. Sacha Baron Cohen’s Ali G started life on Channel 4’s Eleven O’Clock Show, appearing in hilarious short films with unsuspecting real people. It was only a matter of time before the character moved into Da Movies and the music charts. I didn’t hear ‘Me Julie’ much on the radio, despite it reaching number two. Not surprising given the frequent references to knobbin’ and shaggin’. “Me Julie, I love you from my head down to my goolies” was one of the cleaner lines.

At least he gave me something to laugh at, The same went for a new British band by the name of The Darkness. Were they for real?! How did Justin Hawkins arrive at their musical mission? Did they, like me on many occasions at the Beeb, have an awayday brainstorm to identify gaps in the market? Seventies-style heavy rock?  Tick. Sparkly catsuits as in Queen? Tick. Choruses delivered in funny falsetto? Tick. Referencing their background in the mean streets of Suffolk? Tick! All they needed to do was write a few decent tunes. I still can’t believe the public bought into it.

Apparently they even had a Carling Homecoming gig booked for the London Astoria before they had even signed a record deal! I really didn’t like ‘I Believe in a Thing Called Love’, and was appalled at the prospect of their ‘Christmas Time single topping the chart. It didn’t. Instead of pseudo-glam rock, the festive number one slot unexpectedly went to the glum rock of Michael Andrews and Gary Jules’ cover of ‘Mad World’. Yet The Darkness sold well over a million copies of their debut album Permission to Land. Another album followed, then the band imploded under Hawkins’ alleged abuse of alcohol and cocaine. Their story had all the ingredients of a spoof rockumentary a la Spinal Tap. Joke music, joke image, joke descent into rehab. All that was missing was an exploding drummer and a undersized Stonehenge at the Brits. I’m sorry but, even in 2018, I am still waiting for the true tale to emerge.

1996 - Step outside, summertime's in bloom

I reckon 1996 was one of the better years, personal and musically. Of course there were the usual highs and lows, disappointments and moments of euphoria but memories have been kind to the year in which I turned 35. However, for many teenage (and older!) girls, the walls of the world caved in on 12^th February 1996. Official helplines were set up. Samaritans volunteers must have worked their socks off. Yes, Take That announced their split. Four weeks later, their final single – an insipid cover of The Bee Gees’ ‘How Deep is Your Love?’ made its predictable entry at number one. The UK sat back and prepared to be wowed by Gary Barlow’s barnstorming solo career. To my surprise, the UK was to be sorely disappointed.  

Mark Owen actually won the race to release the first post TT album, but his opening single ‘Child’ in November was even worse than Barlow’s ballad 'Forever Love'. Back in the summer, his old mucker Robbie Williams zoomed in with a faithful copy of George Michael’s ‘Freedom’. Competent enough, but it sounded too similar to George’s original. So was this the new Robbie? While pratting about trying to be the Gallagher brothers’ new best friend – to their obvious irritation – doing as many drugs as he dared to ingratiate himself with Noel, would he attempt to carve a niche as a boring covers singer? Well, that’s how it looked at the time.

George Michael himself bounced back into the limelight after a five-year hiatus resulting from a lawsuit against his label Sony. The mournful ‘Jesus to a Child’ and upbeat ‘Fastlove’ each made number one and displayed the vocals and production quality to which both Gary and Robbie must have aspired and, in 1996, failed to do. I was no fan of George’s ‘mature’ music but had to admit that the man could sing.

Boyzone also capped a successful twelve months by taking another old Bee Gees song to number one. ‘Words’ was a decent effort, but the Irish quintet was such a feeble covers act compared with Take That. Despite Ronan Keating’s distinctive vocals, I found their impressive chart run inexplicable.

Talking of inexplicable, one of the most shocking news events of the year was the massacre on 13^th March by Thomas Hamilton of sixteen schoolchildren and a teacher at Dunblane Primary School in Scotland. Once the nation stopped grieving, the Government took responsibility and cracked down on handgun ownership. I’m not sure it actually reduced firearms offences but at least it sent out the right signals. Another outcome was a Christmas charity fundraising number one but also, indirectly, the success of a masterful chillout dance track by Robert Miles.

I read at the time that, frustrated by a lack of appropriate tracks with which to wind down his club sets, the Italian DJ produced his own: ‘Children’. This video made an atmospheric accompaniment to the soothing synths and the record sold 600,000 over here, plus millions more around the world. Who knew that a dance instrumental could pack such an emotional punch?

I also enjoyed Livin’ Joy’s ‘Don’t Stop Moving’ and Gina G’s ‘Ooh Ah…Just a Little Bit’. The latter’s success was no surprise, unlike its choice to represent the UK in the Eurovision Song Contest. An unashamed pop dance track, it finished a creditable eighth place in Oslo. How we would welcome such a lofty position nowadays. At the time of writing, it remains the last UK Eurovision to top our charts, and unless there’s some seismic shift in Europolitics, I’m confident that won’t change in my lifetime.

However, when it comes to instantly recognisable Nineties dance intros, few can match the impact of The Prodigy’s ‘Firestarter’. I’d written them off as a rave act whose music meant absolutely nothing to anyone not off their face on Ecstasy. My opinion was swiftly swayed as soon as I heard that opening synth blast and watched that underground tunnel-set video with the spine-chillingly scary Keith Flint spitting out the lyrics. Grown-ups fainted in horror at Keith’s appearance but I was relieved to be sufficiently immature to relish the promo and the track itself. Bigbeat meets punk (‘Pigbeat’? ‘Bunk’?!). Whatever genre it’s allocated to, I loved it and still do.

As an aside, my sister Catherine got to know Keith as a regular customer when she worked at Chelmsford’s DVLA office. And very polite he was, too, apparently, although he kept his intimidating head under cover in the office! Good to know that, for all the band’s success over more than two decades, he remains true to his Essex roots. ‘Breathe’ also went to the top in the autumn, and the Braintree boys paved the way for another British bigbeat dance act, The Chemical Brothers, to have a number one. Admittedly, recruiting Noel Gallagher to provide vocals on ‘Setting Sun’ probably helped.

At the lighter end of the spectrum, it was a good year for wry, witty British pop. The Beautiful South had for some time shown the way for the genre, but ’96 featured what is my favourite TBS single, ‘Rotterdam’. Paul Heaton seemed to be taking a worrying Country turn, but this one just about stays on the right side of the divide. The acoustic guitar, complemented by accordion, blends beautifully with Jacqui Abbott’s voice. What’s more, it has such a happy vibe!

I’d never previously heard of The Divine Comedy, beyond some vague association with Dante. However, Neil Hannon’s band burst into my consciousness in July with ‘Something For The Weekend’. I don’t know why, but his melodies remind me of old TV or cinema ads but the lyrics sit up and beg to be heard over and over again. My old BBC colleague Russell once burned a Divine Comedy CD for me, but I confess I simply didn’t ‘get it’. However, I could listen to ‘Something….’ on a continuous loop. It starts out like a sleazy Leslie Phillips comedy before turning into a whimsical mystery. I think the whole is a modern fable warning dirty old men about taking girls into a woodshed. Great stuff!

Another band new to me was Space. Not the ‘Magic Fly’ French electro-disco outfit from 1977 but the bunch of Liverpool indie rockers. Lead singer Tommy Scott reminded me of the Buzzcocks front man Pete Shelley but his compositions were poles apart. ‘Female of the Species’ is perhaps best known, thanks to being used as the theme tune for ITV’s Cold Feet, but this was followed by the equally brilliant ‘Me and You Against the World’, ‘Neighbourhood’ and the following year’s ‘Dark Clouds’.

Combining nifty tunes and entertaining words is never easy to pull off successfully but Space were the mid-Nineties masters of the craft. What’s more, Scott broke the Britpop rules by actually appearing to enjoy himself on stage. No Gallagher-esque scowls; just cheeky grins or, in a V Festival performance I recall watching in 1998, Scott almost ‘corpsing’ with laughter in mid-verse. 

I can’t imagine Jas Mann doing that. When it comes to eye-catching debuts, few could beat his band Babylon Zoo. After part of their debut single, ‘Spaceman’ was used for another of those Levi’s ads, it generated huge advance sales and became the fastest selling single since ‘Can’t Buy Me Love’ in 1964. I recall the first performance on TOTP and Jas Mann’s striking silver skirt ensemble became a talking point even in my office. The whole song was actually better than the advert extract had led us to expect and, with Mann’s otherworldly persona and the distorted guitars and backing vocals, ‘Spaceman’ sold a million inside five weeks. It wasn’t quite a one-hit wonder but they never graced the top ten again.

Kula Shaker may not have resembled alien astronauts but their fondness for Asian instruments, Eastern mysticism and Sanskrit lyrics marked them out from the rest of the Britpop crowd. Main man Crispin Mills, one of the thespian dynasty, was often written off as a pretentious prat, perhaps with some justification. Nevertheless, ‘Tattva’ was an interesting record, going to four in July, and superior to the more Western, Sixties-ish rocker ‘Hey Dude’, which went two places higher. 

Jamiroquai sounded like a Stevie Wonder tribute act but couldn’t have looked more different. Jay Kay’s penchant for wacky Native American headgear (as in the ‘Iroquai’ bit, although mis-spelt) got him noticed, and ‘Virtual Insanity’ was agreeably funky. However, my appreciation of pop stars usually ranks in indirect proportion to their egos, and in those years the Cat in the Hat’s ego was one of the most monstrous in music.  

The Lighthouse Family were the new darlings of Easy Listening. Renewed airplay led to a re-release of ‘Lifted’ and suddenly they were on every show going. The ‘Ocean Drive’ album had actually been deleted. A year later it had sold well over a million. A bit too Easy listening for me, and I’m no fan of Tunde Baiyewu’s voice, but the gently flowing verse and rising chorus always leaves me – well, uplifted! It does stray into dangerous Gospel territory towards the end but I’ll forgive them.  

The Britpop guitar bands were still going strong, with Shed Seven’s ‘Going For Gold’ and Mansun’s ‘Wide Open Space’ adding to my engagement with the genre. The latter band, from Chester, was hotly tipped to be the Next Big Thing. Wrong! Great debut, though, the epic sound living up to the title. John Power’s band Cast were always reliable hitmakers, and ‘Sandstorm’ in January was probably their best.

The Manic Street Preachers were never really part of the Britpop scene. In fact, prior to 1996 I knew very little about them, other than the mysterious disappearance of their troubled guitarist and co-songwriter Richey Edwards. Suddenly, emerging from the ether at the end of April, came a new single ‘Design For Life’ and I had a new modern favourite. It made a huge impression on me. If I thought ‘Wide Open Space’ was epic, then ‘Design….’ transported epic to a whole new dimension. It had a stirring continuous riff, anthemic chorus and lyrics about working class struggles (“Libraries gave us power”). What could I not like about it? The Everything Must Go album also gave us another solid rocker in ‘Kevin Carter’ and seeing them on TV at Glastonbury made me resolve to see them live. I’m still resolving…. 

Of course, they wear their Welshness very prominently on their sleeves. The red dragon breathes fire from their stage, and of course it was the Manics who wrote and recorded the Euro 2016 song for the Wales football squad. Loving the Manics has certainly helped me integrate with the locals since moving to Wales; it’s practically the law. However, I wish they’d do one big gig in Cardiff so I can get tickets before they are snapped up. I had a chance in 2016 but I was too old and set in my ways to make the trip to Swansea. Some fan I am.

It was a memorable summer. My attempts at meeting someone special via Dateline finally brought me to the hands of Jane in Ealing but sadly no further, and the first fickle flames of a relationship were quickly extinguished by the lady in question before we could celebrate my birthday. I did make a few lasting friends. In particular, Polish Margaret (and husband Minas) still swap Christmas cards with me and she motivated me to take a coach holiday to Zakopane in September. It was also a notable summer for sport, and a few songs are forever associated with the big events.

The big holiday hit in Europe was a remix of Los Del Rio’s ‘Macarena’. It made number two here but was absolutely massive in the States. I tend to associate the song with the Atlanta Olympics in August. It seemed obligatory for participants and the American spectators to perform the awkward little dance. For me, it did at least distract from the fact that the Games were the worst in living memory, not just for the British team’s paucity of medals but for the whole crass commercialism and US propaganda preached by the domestic TV coverage. Thank God for the BBC!

Slightly more parochial than the Olympic fortnight are the European Football championships, now abbreviated handily to ‘The Euros’. In ’96, England were the hosts, sparking a wave of football mania throughout June and beyond. Simply Red had the official England song, but nobody remembers it now, and even fewer bought it then. Keith Allen inevitably was involved in a left-field pub fan ditty ‘England’s Irie’ with Black Grape. However, the record which really captured the mood of the times was ‘Three Lions’ by Baddiel, Skinner and The Lightning Seeds.

The two comedians had become well known for their Friday night show on BBC 2, Fantasy Football League, essential viewing for Dad and me. It was a live and irreverently funny half hour with amusing clips, light-hearted footie chat with guests, dressing-gowned Statto, local park or back garden re-creations of famous football incidents, and all usually ending with a dreadfully tuneless song performed by Jeff Astle. The Euros were made for them. Football was coming home…. With Ian Broudie’s music and lyrics by David and Frank, ‘Three Lions’ turned the traditional tale of England’s perennial tournament failures into a realisation that the heroics of 1966 “could be again”. It’s a fantastic record. I still get goosebumps listening to it now, and I don’t even support England. It sold well over half a million, reaching number one twice, split by the four weeks in which The Fugees’ million-selling hip-hop ‘Killing Me Softly’ cover held sway.

Sadly for the home fans, England bowed out in a semi-final penalty shoot-out against the Germans (who else?). A nation mourned. Maybe the record was simply too good to be wasted on England. According to the striker Jurgen Klinsmann, the German team were also singing it on the way to Wembley and it reached their own top 20.

A World Cup update also topped the UK chart two years later but England’s ‘years of hurt’ have now expanded to fifty years and counting. The words are due a re-boot. After all, I remember:-

                        That Beckham red card

                        Rooney stamping too hard

                        Seaman grasping thin air

And Iceland’s war chant….

Never mind. For a few glorious weeks, England was united in a unique mood of unfamiliar optimism. Of course, Terry Venables’ side weren’t actually going to win the trophy but it was fun to see and hear 90,000 stadium spectators singing a humble pop song, encapsulating ‘lad-dom’, Britpop and the renewed appetite for the sport, for just under four minutes.

Yet even Euro 96 doesn’t quite hit the highest notes. Probably the most anticipated and celebrated concerts of the decade were the two headlined by Oasis at Knebworth on 10^th and 11^th August. At the end of February, Oasis soared to the top with ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’, the epitome not only of Britpop but of the whole ‘Cool Britannia’ era. When Noel sang it at their April gigs at Manchester City’s Maine Road ground, it really couldn’t have got any better for the band.

It bore such a perfect message that, although having been released only a few weeks earlier, ‘Don’t Look Back in Anger’ was played in full to conclude the iconic BBC2 drama series ‘Our Friend in the North’. For some, it was a brilliant chronicle of Northern working class aspirations, success and failure (a bit like England FC), for others it was the series which made the name of Daniel Craig, in a most un-Bond- like character! For me, that musical climax was probably the most moving five minutes of non-sporting television I have ever experienced.

I also recall the TOTP finale in the week the single went to number one. Not only did they feature ‘Don’t Look Back In Anger’ but then Liam swaggered across from the piano (bet he didn’t play it!) to mime the B side. It turned out to be a belligerently unsubtle cover of Slade’s ‘Cum On Feel the Noize’. Oasis  definitely blotted their copy book that evening. It got me wondering what Noddy et al would have done with ‘Morning Glory’, etc. Rather well, I reckon!

Fast forward to August, and I tuned in to Radio 1’s live transmission of the Sunday night Knebworth concert. Typically, two people rang me that evening, interrupting my listening of the ‘Gig of the Decade’ (honestly, it was thus described at the time) and depriving me of an opportunity to say I was (virtually) there throughout. At least I did get to hear Oasis at their primal live best on tracks such as the opener ‘Columbia’, ‘Champagne Supernova’ and the peerless ‘Live Forever’. Sorted! Mad fer it! Summertime was, most definitely, in bloom.

It’s easy to visualise 1996 as a year when lads ruled the airwaves. From the Gallaghers to Prodigy, Paul Weller to Peter Andre, Jez Mann to Mark Morrison, men would appear to have a chart stranglehold. Not true. 

For starters, the biggest selling album came courtesy of the previously unheard of Alanis Morissette. There were no massive hits on Jagged Little Pill, just several excellent tracks delivered in unique style by the young Canadian. She sounded scary and even a little potty-mouthed as the woman scorned in ‘You Oughtta Know’, crazily kooky on ‘Head Over Feet’ and close to the edge in ‘One Hand in My Pocket’. Yet it’s her engagingly misunderstood take on irony which has probably been her most enduring song. Probably too many ‘aye-ee-aye-ee-aye’s but Alanis neatly channelled her inner Joni Mitchell into the live rock arena, as in this Hyde Park performance of 'Ironic'. 

She paved the way for any number of similar artists, from Meredith Brooks to Avril Lavigne, but it was a shame that her follow-up album failed to live up to the sky-high expectations of JLP, and Morissette moved naturally into acting. Country star Sheryl Crow also dipped her toes into rock with surprisingly superb results. There’s a nod to her roots with the squealing pedal steel bit but it could almost be the Oasis rhythm section behind the brilliant ‘If It Makes You Happy’. 

There’s obvious sonic references to Alanis on Alisha’s Attic’s ‘I Am I Feel’. From their mid-Atlantic accents I certainly thought the duo were more Americans but they were in fact from East London sisters, daughters of The Tremeloes founder Brian Poole. Dubstar were from Newcastle with a tendency to dreamy trance music. Fronted by Sarah Blackwood, I preferred ‘Not So Manic Now’, which managed to sound so blissfully uplifting while telling a sad story about a young woman attacked in her tower block flat. The lines 

“I was making myself the usual cup of tea
When the doorbell strangely rang” 

demanded I listened to the rest. Who was at the door? What would happen? It’s a song which deserves more recognition than its number fifteen placing indicated. 

Also rooted in social realism were the perfect pop-dance band Saint Etienne. As mentioned before, I became a fan in 1994 but the 1996 greatest hits collection Too Young to Die introduced me to some of their earlier electro-dance material like ‘Only Love can Break Your Heart’ and long-form ballads like ‘Avenue’ and ‘Hobart Paving’ (the flip side of ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’). It is probably the CD I’ve replayed more than any other. The videos also transport me back to a London in transition, a capital I recognise from my Tube trips to unsuccessful dates. 

Firmly in Britpop territory were Echobelly, Garbage and Lush. In ’96, Sonia Madan had a penchant for difficult subjects, and for once her lyrics were perfect for a gloomy yet compelling song like ‘Dark Therapy’ yet it failed to crack the top 20. I particularly love those multi-tracked vocal harmonies in the chorus. Like Madan, Miki Berenyi was of Asian descent, and her band Lush delivered ‘Single Girl’, a delicious three-and-a-bit minute thrash, a staple of any self-respecting anthology of Nineties girl bands.

Garbage, on the other hand, were an American outfit fronted by Scot Shirley Manson. ‘Stupid Girl’ was their biggest and best single. It starts out as a fairly conventional rock song with a guitar riff, thudding bassline and sylphlike synth chords. Then in come Manson’s vocals and weird and wonderful ticks and punky parts, and it takes on a life of its own.

However, when it came to females in bands, the rule book was ripped up and scattered in space in July 1996. Bereft of pop celebrity material after the demise of Take That, the mags were keen to grab a piece of an energetically promoted English quintet of girls, whose first video was proving to be a satellite TV hit. Top of the Pops magazine interviewed them, and dubbed them Scary, Sporty, Baby, Ginger and Posh. The epithets stuck, as did their music. They were The Spice Girls, and suddenly everyone was singing ‘Wannabe’. The video was an ideal way of introducing the world to the sassy personalities of Mel B, Mel C, Emma, Geri and Victoria, and the record became a global success, number one in 37 nations, no less!

Apart from Victoria, The Spice Girls could all sing well and weren’t merely Simon Fuller’s puppets. They weren’t just surgically-enhanced dolly-bird models; they looked like real young women, apparently good mates who lived and worked for each other. I think that was their USP, and the reason for their enormous success in the UK and elsewhere. Kids could identify with them. Another factor was the quality of their effortless pop music. ‘Wannabe’ was contemporary, ‘Say You’ll Be There’ had a splash of Seventies R’n’B, while the Christmas/New Year million-seller ‘2 Become 1’ was a timeless ballad. A new marketing phenomenon was upon us. Girl Power had arrived!

1993 - Time to break free, nothin' can stop me

At some point during the year, one of my newer Rotaract colleagues, Elaine, expressed excitement at the rumour of Gary Barlow moving to Billericay. Noticing my blank look, she seemed part pained, part amused at my apparent – and genuine – ignorance of the aforementioned celebrity, who may or may not have been gracing our town with his presence. “You know? Take That!”.

Well, at least I had heard of Take That; I just wasn’t au fait with the individual band members. By the end of 1993 there probably wasn’t anybody under the age of 50 who didn’t know Gary, Robbie, Mark, Jason and Howard. During the previous year they had racked up five top 20 singles, culminating in the up-tempo cover of ‘Could it Be Magic?’ at Christmas which peaked at three. The next single, the dreary ‘Why Can’t I Wake Up With You’ made two but it was ‘Pray’ which signalled their arrival as true pop stars.

It was a brilliant song, nice vocals by Gary, a beat you could tap your toes to, and another of those daft almost homoerotic videos full of moody, topless poses and slo-mo shakes of the head in water. Their days as purely gay icons were gone; suddenly every young female was after the quintet. To my knowledge, Mr Barlow never bought a house in Norsey Road but his songs were everywhere. Not only ‘Pray’, but also ‘Relight My Fire’ and ‘Babe’ went straight in at number one, making Take That the first act ever to have such a hat-trick in the UK.

I don’t remember the term ‘boy band’ being applied to any previous group, but suddenly it was a popular label with which TT were encumbered, prompting the launching of various copies such as Louis Walsh’s Boyzone. However, Gary and the boys were not ready to relinquish their crowns as pop princes.

I suppose the Osmonds and The Jackson Five had been prototype pop boy bands, releasing a stream of mostly vocal hits. They did actually play some instruments although it was obvious that, apart from Gary on the piano, Take That were primarily eye candy, decent dancers (apart from Gary, again) and proponents of passable vocal harmonies. Michael Jackson’s career clearly hadn’t been harmed by his abandoning his brothers; he was, after all, only the biggest star on the planet.

One reason for that was his willingness to experiment and attract some top-notch collaborators from other genres. One of my favourite Jacko singles from the Nineties was ‘Give In To Me’ which reached number two in March ’93. It was a true rock ballad, fuelled by Slash’s guitar licks and solos. At the same time, Lenny Kravitz was doing the same thing, swinging his dreads while knocking out some mean rock riffs on a ‘flying V’. That month, Iron Maiden also made it a temporary haven for old-school metal. It didn’t last. However, the summer did deliver another slice of meat-and-two-veg rock in the form of ‘Two Princes’ by New York’s Spin Doctors. Angie hates it and it has been voted one of the worst songs ever. Not in my book. Its simplicity, basic structure without the excesses of contemporary icons Kiss and Aerosmith, makes this track one of my not-so-guilty pleasures.

Two British superstars who had long since left the bands which made their respective fortunes were earning rave reviews with new albums. Sting brought out ‘Ten Summoner’s Tales’, including some sumptuous singles. I remember one of my work colleagues, with whom I tended to associate more muscular music, going into raptures over the bucolic charms of ‘Fields of Gold’, and quite rightly so. It’s one of those songs whose layers of echoing synth chords and delicious vocals beg you to stop what you’re doing and listen and lose yourself in the music. ‘If I Ever Lose My Faith in You’ was another great record, yet neither pierced the UK top ten, which is quite baffling.

The solo career of another post-punk New Waver, Paul Weller, really gathered momentum with 'Wild Wood'. I recall being delighted on first hearing the title track, yet it spent a mere three weeks on the chart. Another mystery. Maybe it was deliberately deleted by the artist or his record company, but it deserved a longer shelf life.

Duran Duran had taken a few sabbaticals but sensibly Simon le Bon never attempted to go it alone. In January, their beautiful ‘Ordinary World’, from their ‘Wedding album’, crept up to six and proved to the world they weren’t to be consigned to the bargain bins of New Romanticism. Lovely lyrics, written and delivered with mature restraint by a 34 year-old Simon Le Bon, combine with an elegant verse and stirring chorus, topped off by a memorable descending guitar riff. This is probably their last great single but it’s life-affirming that Duran Duran still tour and make new music, free of the nostalgia circuit. Long may they do so!

1993 was the year when I finally realised that, to grow up properly, I really needed to escape the bosom of the family home. I had always got on extremely well with Mum and Dad, which made the whole palaver of searching for my own place less urgent. However, my days in Rotaract (nominally for 18-29s) were clearly numbered and the prospect of finding my own way was not as frightening as it had once been. I had sufficient savings for a deposit, so finance wasn’t an issue. I wasn’t looking to move too far, and so we perused together some local properties. I came close to securing a 2-bed flat but it wasn’t until the next year when I finally moved into 30 Radford Court for the princely sum of £52,000!

All of this coincided with the success of M People’s Elegant Slumming album, including the intoxicating ‘Moving On Up’. Obviously it wasn’t written with my house-hunting in mind. It was more a feminist anthem giving an errant boyfriend the heave-ho, and with Heather Small’s deep, rich voice, no boyfriend would dare challenge the decision. I’m pretty sure I didn’t associate my own life and the song title at the time; only in retrospect does the title neatly encapsulate my thinking. Anyway, Heather Small’s distinctive towering hairstyle was everywhere that year and M People were deservedly hoovering up all sorts of awards.

It was also a year that brought two other very different artists to my attention for the first time. Radiohead seemed quite ‘normal’ back then, and their re-released debut single ‘Creep’ struck a chord with me. Not the weird lyrics about some form of obsession, but the semi-grungey music. That grumbling bass intro, the mysterious chord progression and ugly double guitar slashes were like nothing I’d heard before, not even from Nirvana. This was before Thom Yorke, Jonny Greenwood et al became rock legends with a disturbingly obsessive, possessive fanbase. Their massively popular Nineties albums did yield the occasional commercial single I liked, such as ‘Fade Out’, but I have never ‘got’ Radiohead, and in my mid-fifties, surely never will.

Of course, they have a right to exist. In fact the rock world would be a poorer place without them. I’ve long felt the same about Bjork. The diminutive ex-Sugarcubes singer has been pigeonholed in the ‘difficult’ box, labelled as perennially weird and an enemy of the media. She may have had her run-ins with intrusive photographers; quite frankly, considering it natural behaviour for a mum protecting her child, I don’t blame her. As for Bjork’s music, my relationship with her has followed similar lines to that with Radiohead. However, in 1993 she released three astonishingly contrasting singles. ‘Play Dead’, made with David Arnold, was a movie song but not for James Bond. They surely missed a trick there. ‘Big Time Sensuality’ was a shimmering electronic oddity, showcasing Bjork’s endearingly unique vocal style, full of squawks and childish dancing. However, it was seeing her perform ‘Venus as a Boy’ on telly, not TOTP, that I recognised her exquisite talent.

It wasn’t a big hit, but the vulnerability and gentle emotion in her voice grabbed me by the gut in a way the Icelander has never achieved since. With her pretty, elfinlike appearance, she came across not so much a pop star but as a fairytale character; not as distant as Enya, less precisely rehearsed than Kate Bush. Bjork was half-tomboy, half pixie. She possessed the innocent moon face of a tweenie, yet the mature musical mind of a 27 year-old woman. The song itself has hints of jazz and touches of Indian percussion yet at heart it’s a simple pop ballad. Her Glastonbury performance sums up everything which seemed so wondrous, yet simultaneously slightly irritating about her.

Michael Stipe was another mild eccentric who by ’93 was helping REM to global superstardom. After hearing the rocking ‘The Sidewinder Sleeps Tonite’, baffling ‘Man on the Moon’, bewitching ‘Everybody Hurts’ and the beautiful nostalgic drum-free ‘Nightswimming’, I was moved to buy their new album ‘Automatic for the People’, the year’s second biggest-seller. Even the failed single ‘Find the River’, which closed side two (yes, they still had 12” LPs) was glorious. For all the ingenious string and woodwind arrangements, and Mike Mills’ piano, on ‘Nightswimming’, it was the lullaby-like ‘Everybody Hurts’ which most represents REM that year.

I found it hard to like Stipe’s twang, but I could at least appreciate his phrasing of his own lyrics. The band was impressively talented, too, swapping instruments while the front man did his usual angsty thing at the mic. Like most great acts, they passed me by in the live sense. However, I always enjoyed watching them performing live on TV, if only to spot the fleeting moments when Michael Stipe’s face cracked into a smile!

New Order had been quiet for three years, so it was a welcome treat to see the video for their new single ‘Regret’ on TOTP. Well, the ‘Baywatch’ aspect was largely lost on me – and the band don’t exactly look comfortable on a Californian beach either - but the rockier sound met with my approval. Their ‘Best Of…’ compilation came out the following Christmas and I think I bought the cassette not long after. I think they are dreadfully under-rated. They have done dance, electronica, pop-rock, and often in the same song! From sustaining the Eighties Hacienda scene to appearing at the 1993 Reading Festival, the rockers’ mecca, they were always a cool band. Still are.

2Unlimited certainly weren’t cool but ‘No Limit’ proved to be their biggest UK hit. The contemporary joke was that, once the minute-long techno intro finally gave way to Anita’s vocals, she sang “No, no, no-no-no-no, no-no-no-no, no-no there’s no lyrics”. Of course, dance anthems don’t exactly demand deep and meaningful words, and the Dutch duo enjoyed a string of successful singles using the same winning formula.

There was more of the same from Capella’s ‘U Got to Let the Music’, Culture Beat’s ‘Mr Vain’ and one of the great Nineties tracks from any genre, Haddaway’s ‘What is Love?’. The Germany-based Trinidadian gave us this majestic debut, a searing dance beat with a melody worthy of listening to without your dancing shoes on. DJ Jazzy Jeff and the pre-Will Smith Fresh Prince hip-hopped their way to number one with ‘Boom Shake Shake the Room’. One of the rare rap tracks I quite liked, thanks to Will’s tongue-in-cheek delivery, it was a million miles from the new breed of gangsta rappers like Snoop Doggy Dogg, Tupac and Public Enemy who were beginning to infiltrate the UK singles chart.

For some reason, 1993 became one of the biggest years ever for reggae and its modern offshoot, ragga. In one March week, the top three consisted of Shaggy’s “catchy” ‘O Carolina’, Canadian white boy Snow’s ‘Informer’ (“repetitive crap”) and Shabba Ranks’ “sexist ego trip”, ‘Mr Loverman’. Note the italicised quotes from my diary on 26^th March.

Two months later, it was a top three consisting entirely of more traditional reggae. Only Inner Circle were Jamaican, and ‘Sweat (la-la-Long)’ bounced its merry way to number three, justifying my description as “a jolly little holiday song”. Swedish band Ace of Base went further with their ‘All That She Wants’. The Berggren sisters could sing live, too, as they did on TOTP here. The blonde-brunette combo had a slight touch of the Abbas about them, and indeed their 30 million global sales put them third behind the fab foursome and Roxette in Swedish pop annals. ‘The Sign’ was another number one the following year and, to my surprise, it even became America’s biggest-seller of 1994.

Of course, any period of reggae dominance must include our own UB40. On their way to the top that week in May, their inevitable contribution was another cover version, this time of ‘I Can’t Help Falling in Love’. Shuffling along in the same predictable groove as ‘Red, Red Wine’, it had similar huge success without really floating my boat. It was at least better than the “erotic” Sharon Stone thriller Sliver from which the track emerged. However, when it came to enervating Caribbean rhythms, the year belonged to Chaka Demus and Pliers.

The Jamaican DJ and singer combined to entertaining effect, making the top three with three consecutive singles. At first, I didn’t appreciate ‘Tease Me’, but it grew on me. ‘She Don’t Let Nobody’ was a slower number but probably my favourite was their ragga take on ‘Twist and Shout’. It never stood a chance of being the Christmas number one, but did top the chart once the decorations came down. I’ll even go as far as saying this version surpasses that of Brian Poole or The Beatles three decades earlier. It’s not exactly the same structure, of course, but through the patois you can just about detect the familiar guitar riff.

Apart from Take That, what kept Chaka Demus and Pliers at bay for a few weeks was an act which sends shivers down the spine to this day. The ‘performer’ must be the tallest ever to make number one and probably the pinkest. Mr Blobby was simply unstoppable that Christmas! The spin-off from BBC1’s Saturday evening show Noel’s House Party was the first, and surely the worst, in a sequence of home-grown children’s TV characters to achieve Christmas success. Give me Bob the Builder any day! At least the proceeds helped supplement the Beeb’s income and kept me in a job!

From Mr Blobby to Meatloaf isn’t as vast a chasm as you might think. And I’m not talking merely of the physical similarities, uncanny as they are. No, size is unimportant; I simply hate them both.

I cannot fathom why normally sane friends dissolve into raptures on hearing the first chords of ‘Bat Out of Hell’, a track so long I’m convinced whole civilisations have grown and collapsed before the final bursts of motor bike engine. The news that Meatloaf and Jim Steinman were working on a sequel to the original Seventies album filled me with dread. Unsurprisingly Bat Out of Hell 2 conquered all in 1993. But worst of all was the lead single, ‘I Would Do Anything For Love (But I Won’t Do That)’. Seven weeks at the top felt like seven years, it was a typical “interminable epic”. I won’t give it the extra exposure of a YouTube link but I can’t deny it formed part of my musical backdrop that autumn.

Changing the subject rapidly…. Ah, I refer to a band which has become possibly my favourite of all time. Yes, I know I have raved about Abba, Madness or even The Beatles, but they are predictable choices. I can claim only a quantum share of such musical megastars. However, I feel this band is more – well – mine: Saint Etienne.

They’ve had only one top ten hit, but umpteen which briefly illuminated the top thirty. In 1993, I first became enamoured of their wistful, Sixties-influenced covers and original music, when ‘You’re in a Bad Way’ and the joyous ‘Who Do You Think You Are?’ adorned the stage of TOTP. Sarah Cracknell’s fresh and light vocals proved such a perfect fit with the rhythms of Pete Wiggs and Bob Stanley, and I must confess I found her easy on the eye, too. My relationship with Saint (never St.) Etienne intensified two years later when they released a singles compilation Too Young to Die.

They may have taken their name from the French football club but Saint Etienne are very much part of the fabric of London. Most of their material from the mid-Nineties have been love songs to hidden corners of the capital and its people. Bob and Pete are also well into capturing the city on film, while Bob has written some well-received books and articles about the history of pop. His byline in The Guardian is always a welcome sight.

Imagine my delight, too, when I caught a short ad in Metro for remaining tickets to the band’s 2003 Christmas concert at the London Palladium. Who cared if I had nobody to go with; this was an opportunity not to be missed. It also turned out to be an unforgettable evening’s trawl through all their singles complete with guest stars like Etienne Daho and Edwyn Collins. Sarah self-consciously performed - complete with small baby bump! – front of stage, while black-clad Bob and Pete twiddled knobs behind banks of synthesisers. Thank you, Saint Etienne, for your enduring talent, and also staying below the celebrity radar and allowing me to feel that little bit closer to you.

Another London band was garnering rave reviews amongst the more mainstream media. Suede hadn’t really done much chart-wise but Melody Maker’s 1992 description of them as ‘the best new band on Britain’ helped convince the BPI and BBC to open the prestigious 1993 Brit Award broadcast with ‘Animal Nitrate’. I’m not sure they merited the introductory epithet of ‘already legendary’ but their performance of the song certainly made an impression on me.

The single was propelled to seven in the chart and Suede blasted off into the forefront of a whole new UK-born musical genre. Brett Anderson’s love of removing his shirt did nothing for me, and neither did his exaggerated vocal Cockneyisms, but I’d never before heard guitar work like Bernard Butler’s. If I had been remotely musical, I’m sure he would have inspired me to take up the instrument myself. Instead I contented myself with listening to his instinctive ear for accompanying melodies, riffs and licks on several chart hits. Maybe The Stone Roses and other indie bands had done something similar before, but for me this was a whole new sound. The shy Butler left Suede the following year but the band became a cornerstone, and maybe a catalyst, for a host of new bands which exploded from the underworld in 1994. Shining singles like ‘Trash’ and ‘Wild Ones’ were still to come but, while the term had yet to be coined, Britpop was upon us.